Jealous

Im jealous of Still I Rise by Maya Angelou. Why? because it has voice! I dont think i really have a voice. I honestly try to but I dont know if I succeed. Im also jealous of the fact that this poem is so honest. so blunt, but yet it still has humor. It has confidence. Its so clever!  Its hard to grasp being so honest, blunt, being confident, clever, but yet still having humor. JEALOUS of this poem. I love this poem. I love it!

I'm so sick and tired of...

Im tired of being my parents experimental child.
Im so tired of not being able to be with you.
Im tired of my parents not trusting me and not letting me grow up.
Im tired of high school.
Im so sick and tired of constantly thinking about sleep.
Im tired of sitting on my butt when im not working.
Im tired of astronomy.
Im so sick and tired of gossip.
Im tired of having to worry about money.
Im tired of not having my own room.
Im sick and tired of fake people.
Im soo sick and tired of liars.
Im tired of feeling like I am at a stand still.
Im tired of drama.
Im tired of missing you.
Im sooo tired of being ignored.
Im tired of feeling stupid.
Im tired of being used.
Im tired of backstabbers.
Im tired of worrying constantly!
Im tired of being tired.

Love LOVE.

The very first thing that pops into my head...Love is painful. you put yourself out there,sometimes get completely humiliated by trying too hard. you are shut down time and time again. playing the stupid games...its exhausting. but eventually you find that person who you dont have to try to impress. who you arent embarrased around EVER. you wont get shut down anymore, or play those retarded games because they honestly, truly, sincerely love you. they would do anything for you at any time. they simply make you happy. make you wanna be a better person. yes. love is painful. but everyone needs it. everyone wants it. let love find you, dont search for it.  love love. embrace it.

Life's too short...BE YOURSELF!

It's amazing how much our minds change. Maybe its just me? I was looking back on some writing prompts i wrote not too long ago. Seriously? i laughed at it. Its amazing how in a moment you can feel so passionate about something, but once it settles...its really not all you made it out to be. After realizing this it got me thinking about my passed. how things mattered so much to me at that specific time,but now i could care less. I used to care what i looked like 24/7, who I hung out with, What my high school status was. Why did I care so much about those things? Its because i thought everyone else cared about it. I've realized that it doenst matter how i look all the time. Who my friends are. What people think about me. I just need to make myself happy. Look like hell sometimes! who cares! Am I really hanging out with people who make me happy? Life is too short. spend time with people who you actually want to spend time with. who make me happy. Dont pretend to be someone you arent. you have noone to impress but me. people are gonna love me for me! why have people fall in love with someone who really isnt you? NO POINT! dont do it! so gosh dang it, be yourself! its gonna make life a heck of a lot easier and more enjoyable!